Saturday, September 22, 2007
Another Whispering Moment of Life
As part of a essay for English 2 I was was to write about a place or person that has significance. I picked Another Whispering Moment of Life. The Essay is as followed:
It's very hard to choose one place or person that has significance. I managed to narrow it down to two. The first I find when I drive up into the mountains. Here life takes a different view from the one you walked out your front door with. It doesn't demand your attention, it whispers to you.
The narrow, two lane highway, like a great serpent. Climbs its way through the mountains. The car hugging each curve, with the windows down the air moves through the car. The cool touch of it against my face as I extend my hand out the window, I love the feel of the air at my finger tips. It fills me with its energy and freedom. I drive on and its as if I am driving into another world one of peace and ease. Here in this moment life whispers to the heart and soul.
The other is a spot that I have been only once, but I have not been able to find it since. It has a deep significance for me because at the time I was there I was in great need.
A couple summers ago I took a drive alone. It was the summer they found the lumps in my breast. I went through a bit of depression one day. (Everyone tried not to talk about it, I know they were thinking of me, but I needed to talk, never had I felt so scared and angry).
I needed to talk to someone and no one wanted to listen. One day I decided to take a drive. I drove up toward Lake Madrone. I stopped and took a few photos. Standing there staring at the lake I started talking. The Divine always listens. I'm not a religious woman but I am a spiritual being.
I was restless (I get that way a lot in town, but rarely in the wilds) so I started driving up further. I kept talking. I cried and I vented.
As I rove a thought flashed through me: What if I just didn't turn with the road? It would be over no pain, no suffering. That's when I saw the road. It was a little dirt road and for some reason I wanted to drive down that road.
The road was very narrow and rough, but as I drove down it I started watching the trees, how the sunlight filtered through the branches, dancing about blissfully. I stopped the car and pulled as far as I dared to the side and I sat there crying.
I heard the wind int he trees. I love that sound. It's like when you're a child swinging too fast and high and the wind whistles laughingly past your ears and you are soaring with it, laughing with it.
I got out of the car still crying. I sat down on a log and allowed everything to just spill out into that spot. The sound was faint at first and I got silent. It was the sound of water flowing over rocks, faint but I could hear it. I focused on the sound, and I started walking into the woods. The cracking of twigs beneath my feet from the heavy undergrowth echoed into my ears as I worked my way through the trees.
I wouldn't call it a river. It was only knee high and not very wide. Out in the middle were rocks. There was a fair size rock, large and flat. I removed my things and left them on the bank and I waded out to that rock, as if it were my own personal island, my sanctuary, my Avalon.
I laid there watching the sun dancing on the water, shimmering upon the surface, blinding at moments. The water flowed around my feet and legs. I laid back on the rock, my fingers dangling into the water as it flowed around me and through me. I remember at one point thinking "Where did it begin and where would it end?"
I listened to the symphony of sound that was swirling around me. The water as it ventured over the rocky bed and beyond. The sound was soft and fading off into the distance. The wind and the trees sang yet another song.
The twittering of the birds and chatter of the squirrels slowly settled. I felt my heart slowing, my thoughts slowing and moving away like the water and wind. I lay there feeling all the thoughts drift from me, in its troubled place. Peace and a feeling of not being alone was growing in me. There was a sense of silence, a silence that shattered through me like one would shatter glass.
In this moment and this place I had cried, screamed and even healed. The Divine never puts you where you're not ready to be an you're never alone when you're there (I read that once not sure where). I have my daughter Kat, I have amazing friends and have a promise that I will never be in the darkness alone.
I walked back to the bank dressed and returned to my car. I didn't fear anything in that place, and I found a new strength within myself as well as a new view of life. At that moment in time, that special place was where I needed to be.
Life should be intoxicating, indulgent and seductive. It should lure us to the very height of ourselves. It should reflect the heart and soul that burns inside: An Unedited, undiluted and uninhibited expression of who we are.
Whispering moments of Life are about memories,love, friendships, beauty, appreciation and respect for the magic and wonder of life's gifts. Its about finding the gift in each day, in ourselves, in others and in the little things: coffee with a friend, a drive down a country road. Its about seeing things fresh and new.
I always seem to go into the mountains high as I can. Because here life takes a different view, for me this is a place where demands are lifted into clear whisperings. Where I return to the water (the blood of life), I return to the earth (the body of life), where I can feel the air (the breath of life) and reconnect with my soul (the fire of my spirit.)
We each have whispering moments of life, we won't always hear them there at a different pace, a different volume but one day I hope you hear life whisper to you.
Maybe when you're kissing your child goodnight, sitting watching the rain or having that first waken moment.