Giving Birth to Myself

This drawing was inspired by the passage by Alma Villanveva
"I woman give birth, and this time to myself."

Through reflection of who we were, who we are and who we will become. We each give birth to ourselves again and again as we grow and open expanding ourselves.

The Lotus represents the human soul from divine purity to enlightenment like the lotus our life has many pedals, levels that open up as we grow from the first breath of life divine.

The pregnant woman represents the life carried within a woman and bringing all that to life giving birth in the representation creating herself.

Music notes represent the song of the soul.

Sun represents the masculine side of the self, the light of new day and new hope.

Moon represents the feminine side of the self, the darkness, unknown, intuition. From darkness into the light life is born.

Stars represents knowledge of good and truth, a constant source of light.

Trinity presents oath of Earth, Sea and Air and the Maiden, Mother and Crone

Human foot print represents the first steps of a life.

Wolf paw print represents the steps of instincts with intelligence and family.

Deer Hoof print represents the steps of Gentleness in word, thoughts and touch and to listening.

Owl in Flight represents the question "Who?" comfort with shadow-self, keen sight and Freedom.

Orca in Motion represents the freeing of the human soul and finding the soul's song.

Green represents renewal of body, mind and soul.
Purple represents Inspirational, spirituality and tolerance.
Blue represents Truth, loyalty and justice
Red represents Loving, creativity and ambition.
Pink represents Cheerful Compassionate
Orange represents Power of thought, new way of looking at things
Yellow represents Light, carefree and illumination.
Bronze represents Nature, wholesomeness and simplicity.

drawn May 2010

I love Native American legend and story telling I often tell a story even if to myself when I draw something that moves me in this case the Sacred Oak tree.

Many cultures believe the Oak tree to be sacred.

According to one Native American legend there a beautiful woman, the wife of a powerful chief and she became very ill. All the tribe's medicine men were called in and they "pow-wowed" and administered herbal medicines but they could not cure the beautiful woman. Slowly,she became weaker and sicker. Finally, desperate for a cure, the young chief traveled to the Sacred Oak and there prayed to the Great Spirit for his wife to be saved. when he returned to camp, his wife was well again. Several years went by and the tribe was threaten by a hostile tribe. Once again, the chief traveled to the Sacred Oak and prayed to the Great Spirit, who gave him guidance. The chief gathered blankets and beads and journeyed the camp of the enemy. His gifts were accepted, and before he left, he smoked the pipe of peace with the chief of the other tribe. From then on, the Sacred Oak was looked upon as the shrine tree, the people went to the Sacred Oak in times of trouble to pray, and legend has it that help was always given to them.

The Celtic people also held trees to be sacred and believe there are lessons we learn from the trees, the oak tree often has massive branches that extend and spread out some for hundreds of feet in different directions but supported by one massive deep rooted trunk the deeper the roots the further the oak can extend and grow.

Ancient Celts observed the oak's massive growth and impressive expanse. They took this as a sign that the oak was to be honored for its endurance, and noble presence. The Oak tree deals with: Life, Strength, Wisdom, Nobility, Family, Loyalty, Power, Longevity, Heritage

and Honor. Celtic astrology is done with trees as well as animals those born in the month of the Oak tree are believed to be protective people champions for those who do not have a voice (the underdogs). It teaches us to be strong in the storms of life to make our roots deep so we may bend with the wind but not break and to extend ourselves to protect and shelter others and to grow with the connection of the tree of life.

The Cherokee teachings say within the Tree of Life there are sacred directions it is said the creator planted the Sacred Tree for all the people of the Earth and within this tree they would find healing, power, security and wisdom. The connection is we are like the tree of life we live and experience changes of seasons and the changing of our lives.

The tree is an embodiment of the sacred connection of all things rooted in the circle of life with in the tree of life we are connected with Father Sky of the wind and wisdom, with Grandfather Sun of fire and security, with Mother Earth of life and healing and with Grandmother Moon of water and power.

The Celts honored their greatest oath of trinity; earth, air and sea. These are a couple of my favorite legends and stories. To me what the oak tree symbolizes and the connection seems logical and more apart of what I feel, believe and who I am.

Dragon Elements

The drawing I did November 24th dragons of elements and the center is my Dragon Spirit.

I was born in the year of the dragon I am a Gemini Yang Wood Dragon. My daughter Kat is a Piece Yang Earth Dragon.

Dragon Elements

Lord Sairys ruler of the East. Power of Air.
Lord Fafnir ruler of the South. Power of Fire.
Lord Naelyan ruler of the West. Power of Water.
Lord Grael ruler of the North. Power of Earth.
Dragon Spirit.

Elfennau y Ddraig

Arglwydd Sairys pren mesur y Dwyrain. Pŵer Awyr.
Arglwydd Fafnir rheolwr y De. Pŵer Tân.
Arglwydd Naelyan pren mesur y Gorllewin. Pŵer Dŵr. Arglwydd Grael rheolwr y Gogledd. Pŵer Ddaear.
Ysbryd y Ddraig

Blessing

Lord Sairys I bow before you come bless us with the brilliance and promise of sunrises, flood us with optimism, joy, intelligence, renew us with the helpful air and allow the East to embrace us.

Lord Fafnir I bow before you come bless us with helpful fires light us with enthusiam, change, passion, courage, will power and leadership allow the South to embrace us.

Lord Naelyn I bow before you come bless us with the flowing water of life, wash over us with your blessing of
Compassion, peacefulness, forgiveness, love, intuition, calmness and peace of mind allow the West to embrace us.

Lord Grael I bow before you come bless us with respect, endurance, prosperity help us to know our purpose in life, allow the North to embrace us.

May I be a keeper of the dragon spirit.

We Are Fantasy

This poem of mine was published in January 2001 and later added to the CD "The Silence Within" the following Spring.

We are Fantasy both morning and night,
We are reason to believe, ours is the
passion of sharing, reaching out to
others. living within ourselves seeing
through our mind's eyes.

We are Fantasy in mind & soul there we
dwell we know your laughter, your tears,
your love and we share the gift of
sight for we are the dreams, we are time
space we are truth and fiction.

We are Fantasy through us a new world
takes form, an old love lives forever,
a fading promise is renewed and
contentment is found in solitude, we are
the tellers of tales, we are myths and
the creators of magic.

We are Fantasy, we are the writers.

The Journey Within

In a time in my life when I was just finding my own deep voice and starting to hear the whispers of where that voice came from. I found a place where I was able to grow. With that growth I moved forward walking pathways similar and distant.

But sometimes there comes a time and need to return home and I believe now is when I need to return home I am doing this not only spiritually but physically in October I will be returning to my home town of Oklahoma City, I feel the need to see places of my past.

I suppose in a way it is a journey of remembering who I was, reclaiming that part of myself and renewing who I have become. The mind is an amazing thing it shields us from ourselves until we are able to face the shadows and over the years I have faced many shadows.

I can now embrace those ghost and find peace within myself and even forgiveness, we gain strength and understanding and grow but sometimes we have to go back to move forward. There is a quote from a movie but it has impacting meaning and truth that is part of the deep voice within us all, the quote is; “There is no future until we settle our past.” Shirah (Hebrew My song) Chronicles of Riddick.

This recalls to me the lyrics of a song as well “I will be the answer at the end of the line I will be there.” And “I wont break, I wont bend it will be worth it in the end.”

I like many others, grew up in a time of disposable people, where often the only impact on our lives were of negativity. These actions of verbal, physical, sexual and emotional abuse are all impacting to disempower us, to make us belief we are not worthy, that we should be ashamed, that we somehow deserved the inflictions make us belief we are somehow less then what we are.

We have to basically empower ourselves as Les Brown said “Don’t let the negativity given to you by the world disempower you. Instead give to yourself that which empowers you."

To do this I started my own positive affirmation, turning the negativity into positivity. It’s very easy to see the bad it’s worth the effort to see the good to take back that which others have taken.

To stand in the rain and feel the sunshine, to see the light through the darkness and realize the balance of having both and understanding that we are here for a purpose and it is not by accident, but by that gift of life breathed into each of us. That we can stand, that we have power to make our world different we are the change we want to see in the world. We are each a beautiful shard of light from which the divine shines out into the world.

One of the greatest trials of my life, my healing and growth has been to have to face and forgive not only those who have inflicted the wounds but the wounds I have inflicted upon myself and the guilt of even being able to move past things.

I grew up with an elder sister and three brothers I was right in the middle. Raised in the same home, same parents and yet we each survived by a different means and carry the inflicted wounds a different way.

But often I felt guilty for leaving them behind, when our mother was dying I realized just how much I had left them behind the brief contact I had with my sister and brothers during that period I felt sorry for them they were still in the past they were the children still struggling. I was wounded but I wasn’t a victim and I felt guilty for leaving them behind, I struggled with understanding how we had not each escaped being a victim to the past.

Nietzsche said that “When you look into the abyss, the abyss also looks into you.” I have read it is a warning to not look to long or close at evil, but I found it meant something different to me, I did a painting on this and often I have thought of it when I think of my siblings and wonder if the abyss looks into me what does it see does it see the frightened victim or does it see the wounded but grown me.

I recall telling my older brother who struggles with the wounds that are still fresh for him, drugs, alcohol and violence. That at some point it stops being mama and daddy’s fault, it stops being the world is against me and my life is crap and it starts being our choices. We can curl up in the corner and lick the wounds and say poor me or we can make the choice to heal, to take back ourselves to say enough no more shattered lives but one fresh new brilliant life with a few smudges but whole.

May you find your own true deep voice .
May you live today well.
May you journey within.

Flowers of Life

Flowers of Life

The source of all we are all similar, all different and all connected even if we aren't aware of it.

Swirling around one another and through life sometimes so close we take for granite those swirling around with us until they aren't there anymore for a variety of reasons and cause, some good, some bad moments of happiness and moments of sadness. But apart of our lives.

We have choices that make and shape our lives just like the many shapes of the flowers we create our flower as we swirl through life.

May your flower grow in love, light and shine through the swirling dance into others lives may you find all you desire, achieve all you attempt and rule your own destiny.

Take time to appreciate the flowers of life (People, Places and Things), to help the buds (Children) grow and the beauty (Time) to shine, savor their essence (Who they are not who you want them to be)

I Will Find You

I was listening to Pandora and the song was "I Will Find You" being sung by Moya Buennam its from the movie "The Last of the Mohegans" I of course loved the song but saw something very different.

An Eagle's eye and in the eye the mountains, an eagle soring searching over them a cliff with the forest below.

Words I remember and touched off this inspiration most from the song:

"No matter where you go I will find you. In the place with no frontiers. No matter where you go I will find you. If it takes a thousand years. I will find you."


I have often felt like I was found after a thousand years (empty and unhappy years) so this song and these words inspired my art work my 700Th drawing and expressed a feeling of connection with admiration and respect I have been found and made very happy.

Yin Yang

In the dance of balance the dance of masculine and feminine energy is the symbol of Yin Yang.

From the darkness (Yin) emerges light (Yang) and then drifts back into the embrace of darkness again.

Yin receives the message and inspiration from the soul and the divine and Yang acts on the inspirations and messages.

Balance of the masculine and feminine sides is essential. In this drawing Yin is pregnant with the inspiration seed she has nurtured from the divine which Yang will force to sprout and grow and flow into the world.

Trovi la mia anima i e il suo per sempre. Find my soul and I am yours forever.

For Michael Panelli Sr. with love and respect

Trovi la mia anima i e il suo per sempre.

Find my soul and I am yours forever.

We have many soul mates. They are souls we have met and lived with in many life times lovers, spouses, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, teachers, students, friends, and family, or even our enemies, victims, or tormenters. We agreed with these souls to return together to learn and grow.

It is said we don't meet our Twin Soul until we have learned the lessons of love, loss and forgiveness.

It is also said that these lessons will prepare us for meeting our twin soul because it is so intense.

Souls like the lotus have many levels, as we grown and open we find our soul and when mates find our souls we connected and with time we find the other half of our soul and the two become one with each other and with the Divine.

This drawing is based on this belief that to touch the soul is the ultimate connection. Its based on a feeling of completeness and unconditional love and respect.

the lovers are in silver a symbol of the reflection of the soul, purity, connection with one another and the divine spirit.

The ivy symbols eternal magick and growth.

The Lotus opens to give birth and beauty to the two souls embracing and merging as one.

Nine stars and blessings from the Universe.

The multi colored star in the heart of the lovers symbolizes lives shared.

Highlights are illumination of the lessons (petals) and the merging lovers from those lessons.

Ego / Shadow

The following was from a letter written to a friend who told me that the Ego had to be killed that it cold not be apart of you if you were to be enlightened.

"There are many teachings on ego and shadow. I have been told I need to kill my ego but how do you kill what is apart of you. the ego like the shadow are to be faced and recognized I believe this.

To everything there is an opposite Masculine / Feminine, Good / Evil, Strong / Weak, Positive / Negative and Right / Wrong the list goes on and on.

The Unity of Opposites is eternal. Balance is not about destroying but is about taking that which is and facing it and putting the energy and knowledge of the opposite into a constructive and mutual balance of the self.

Carl Jung's concept says the human psyche are named Ego, The Shadow is everything the psyche is apart from the conscious Ego. Anima man's buried feminine side, Animus woman's buried masculine side. The Personal unconscious, Collective unconscious and Persona are cloaks of the Ego and The Self the center and ultimate foundation of our psyche being.

My belief is that of the Celtic and Native American teachings in which we not only come to the threshold of our Shadow Self. But we do not attack it the shadow with ideas of destroying it but must recognize it as a vital, important part of ourselves. By confronting the Shadow we learn to work with it, and channel its energy for the greater good of the Self and those in our lives."

Beneath the Chaos

I am behind my time there are many things I have written, thought but not posted this is one of those.

Balance is essential to me finding it, understanding it and living it. But Chaos makes sense to me nothing is completely logical in life nor is it completely chaotic.

Legend is that Dragons are masters of Chaos(change)they bring order from the chaos. I find this interesting as I am born in the year of the Dragon and I had an ex boyfriend who said I was just to Chaotic for him he was very very logical and routine. Toss that in with a Gemini Dragon and he becomes dinner ha ha.

Beneath the chaos and within the silence of our own thoughts there is something remembered, reclaimed and reborn in our soul.

Something that may not give us a quick fix to our life, or a get rich quick resolution but its there inside us its wild, free, intuitive, powerful and compassionate and passionate.

It's there within each of us, stirring our hearts and making us come alive. Its a connection and understanding of the Great Mystery of something more.

Its the fire of our own passion for life, the path of our own adventure, the roar of our own stand for truth,justice and the soaring of our own freedom.

May you find the balance between your highest aspiration and your daily reality.

May you always know who you are, know when to be silent and when to speak out.

May you know when to hold on and when to let go.

May you give without regret or expectations, and know the blessings of such unconditional love and respect.

May you walk always in the company of your La Que Sabe - One Who knows.

Cara a Brudia Chyneua (Love and Divine Light)

1111 Light Worker a Gift to the World

1111 Light worker a Gift to the World.

This was inspired by a blessing I received in the form of a comission to do the birth chart for a little girl born January 11 at 11:11.

This amazing life is a gift to the world a light worker, soul shaper a true one of Pure Heart Love.

Master Numbers are blessings but here is a child born at 1111 and who will be 11 on Jan 11, 2011. having the opportunity to work on her chart has been a personal blessing to me now when I have been troubled by my own doubts this time has been healing and rekindling to the spirit.

Thank you Alexandra may the love and light of your gift be eternally bright.

Hearts In Twined

Well I have made several attempts since meeting Kristen and Lexi to draw the heart Kristen liked and to just have Lexi Love somewhere in the heart. But every drawing I was unhappy with it just felt wrong in some way and I would toss them away frustrated. 3 Times now I have drawn this one and as I started to toss it I started looking at it and found I liked the interpretative in it.

I wanted to share what I saw. I feel a strong urge even to paint this. So this is what I see in the drawing, its done with glitter and neon gel pins.

The hearts represent mother and child. The diamond symbolizes the growing jewel of the mother's heart her child.

Friends, Family and Memories are the flowers of the heart always blooming within us.

The largest orange flower making up the letter "O" in the name Love is my interpretation and symbol of Lexi's birth. It symbolizes balance of the life force, of thought, of wisdom. It symbolizes new ideas and new ways of looking at things its tolerance and love for all Life.

The stars represent a vow to one another. They represent constance of thought, of love and connection to one another mother and child.

Yellow flowers symbolize the joy of Life, Hope and Direction of Life. Yellow highlighting of the hearts and the Orange flower is the illumination of these hearts and their loving connection.

Red symbolizes love and the blood of Life these hearts share.

Silver symbolize balance and harmony, change, hope, wisdom and the silver lining.

Pink symbolizes compassion, femininity and nurturing.

Blue symbolizes truth, loyalty and calmness.

Purple symbolizes dignity,idealism, intuition, inspiration and service to humanity.

Green symbolizes restoring of body, mind and soul and growth.

Twelve Blessings of Yule

Twelve Blessings of Yule
In the darkness we often find our greatest light of humanity it allows us to see, hear and know the world even in the darkness.
This time of year humanity is part of an eternal transition we can see clearly the past, the present and the future it shines out as a beacon leading us on ward. Undestoryed, unbound and undying the inner light of humanity The Heart.
From the darkness returns light, warmth from the cold, abundance from want, great joy from deep sorrow and life from death.
1st May your life be blessed with encouragement , may the messages of your dreams be realized.
2nd May you find your light and life through the darkness.
3rd May you have the courage to go beyond in spite of fears.
4th May you find your own Truth.
5th May you know the pride of holding your head high for your standards to live according to them.
6th May you remain loyal to who you are and what you are.
7th May you find your place forever by the hearth we are family for all who cross the threshold in heart, mind, body or soul to find peace in times of turmoil, warmth from the cold, fill from hunger, joy from sorrow and rest from weariness.
8th May you stay true to your ideas of life, to your beliefs and your people.
9th May you be rewarded for doing the best you can.
10th May your happiness and success be determined by your own hand.
11th May you never stop trying and realize failure comes only from not trying and success from defeating failure.
12th May you always remember where you came from reclaim where you are and give rebirth to where you want to be.
Light of Winter Solstice embrace you.
Chyneua Chan Aeafa Alban Chofleidia 'ch.

Soul Shaping

"When we approach every moment and every human interaction in the spirit of hospitality, something ancient and holy begins to dwell within us. Welcome this presence into your life and know that with it you can Shape the Soul of the World." ~ Fred MacEowen "Mist Filled Path"



Every morning I watch the passengers like myself and unlike myself shuffle among the buses. Some cluster in groups of friends, co workers or students, others stepping back away from others and others totally indifferent to anyone or anything around them.



And every now and then you see a soul shaper, someone who touches something within you that makes you think, question and feel. They generally arent even aware of themselves or their actions they are simply being themselves and unaware of the shaping they create.



On this crisp morning when the sun had just drifted through and pushed back the darkness, when the air was cold and the breath of those rushing by was visable.



Huddled against the wall of the terminal sat and elderly woman, her story locked within her, her eyes sorrowful but with out tears, her remaining belongings stuffed into a shopping cart. Her hands red from the cold a scarf wrapped around her head to ward of the cold. She said nothing to those who passed her, no request for unwanted or unneeded coins. she watched in silence as they shuffled pass.



The young woman with her thin jacket bulging backpack hands full dropped her pack in front of the elderly woman who managed to get to her feet and help shift the pack on the young woman and return to her seat against the wall. while the young woman rushed away with out a word.



I watched as an older woman approached the elderly woman and handed her the gloves she had been wearing and offered her the muffin and coffee she had just bought at the little market across the road.



I watched as these two soul shapers beating with the same heart beat of the Divine, shaped the world and didnt even realize they had touched anyone, I watched as others passed and even stopped to observe the actions and reactions of life being shaped.



Everyone has value, everyone has this beautiful ability to see the Unseen, hear the unheard and to shape the world we journey through and watching these amazing soul shapers in their selfless actions makes an on looker realize how easy life can be shaped through our actions and reactions.



Thank someone, lend a hand and remember we are all Soul Shapers, we have the ability to make even the smallest of actions create a reaction.

Handfasting Vow

I drew this last night inspired by thoughts of love and lovers. The Vow is bits and pieces of different ceremonies and some of my own parts which I feel fit well together. A vow of love I believe in and would make to my loved one. This blog is a tribute to love and lovers and the magick that they build together.

The hand fast cords symbolize 9 Promises brought to the joining:

Gold=(Masculine) Unity and longevity

Silver= (Feminine) Creativity, inspiration

White=Truth, peace, devotion

Purple= Healing, health

Light blue=Understanding, patience

Red=Love and passion

Orange=Kindness, encouragement, plenty

Yellow = Harmony, confidence

Green= Prosperity, beauty, nurturing

The stag horn = represents the man thought to be one of the three oldest animals also a symbol of Earth. also represents rebirth (new beginning), hunter(provider) and prowess(protection).

The rings or bands=completion and unity a token of the love that encircles the joining.

The flowers = represents the woman 9 tokens of her gift to her loved one.

Apple Blossom = Friendship and celebration of life

Lavender = Happiness and healing

Jasmine = intimacy and sleep

Rose = Love and Beauty

Ivy = Eternal Life, binding magick and protection

Lotus = Spirituality

Mistletoe = Good fortune, health and fertility

Orchid = Thoughtfulness

Rosemary = Memory and longevity

The stars represent = constant The stones represent= strength

Handfasting Vows

I offer thee my vow freely and with no restraint.

You are a precious gift to me, bringing joy into my life. I respect the bond between us and promise to keep it alive always and forever.

I promise to keep your trust, to be your best friend, your lover, and to share in your hopes and dreams. I promise to love thee wholly and completely without restraint, in sickness and in health, in plenty and in time of want, as long as love last.

To desire and be desired by thee, to walk with thee, to stand with thee in the purity of love.

Memories we share together, moments no one else will know. I will keep them close to me, never to let them go. By the life of my blood and love of my heart I take thee to my hand, my heart and my spirit to be my loved one. I will not seek to change thee. I will respect thee, thy beliefs, thy people and thy ways as I respect myself and my own.

Above us the stars, like the stars should our love be constant. Below us the stones, like the stones should our love be strong. We face the storms of life together. The world may grow cold but cannot freeze us, we will forever be together even when we are apart.

With arms to hold and support you, kisses soft and lingering and a love unbroken I do promise thee with love.

Blessings be with us Air, tie closely the bonds between us.

Blessings be with us Fire, Give our love and passion your warmth.

Blessings be with us Water, Give us who desire it the love and depth of body, soul and spirit.

Blessings be with us Earth, Lend our love your strength as long as we may live.

Blessings be with us Spirit of the Great Mystery, Give us your unconditional love and ever vigilant protection, shining wisdom, patience and understanding.

Always and Forever.

Guardian of the Flaming Pearl

The drawing was done early this morning, after doing the Awakening the Dragon that I learned from "The Celtic Spirit" the story to follow is a combination of tales that I have read or heard.
The Guardian of the Flaming Pearl

I was born in the year of the Dragon. It is said that dragons where of a time of chaos, a time other then that of man. The Eastern cultures believe the Dragon symbolizes the essence of the spiritual half of the cosmos. The Dragon breath in -takes the chaos of the unformed potentials and breaths out the order of our nature. The Dragons represent chaos (I have found this funny as I was once told I was too chaotic always changing) and the Dragons bring eternal change.
The Flaming Pearl represents man's awakening conscience.

Now my twist to the tales of Dragon;
In years beyond recording Dragons were the seers of what others cannot see, the spirit of eternal change they were born out of a time of chaos and destruction, they were Guardians and they became the guardians of man, their most precious treasure was the Flaming Pearl.
Man believed it would multiply what ever it touched and Kings sought it to increase their wealth.

The Dragons had protected man from the wraths of Gods many died in the fight for humanity, for the search for the pearl. The Dragons grew impatient of man's infancy they took counsel and decide man would not see the Flaming Pearl, in man's infancy the pearl was hidden in view of all mankind, the guardians shifted into their human appearance and walked among the children.

The Dragons watched, they taught and soon they saw some men transcended infancy to maturity and new possibilities of life opened but not all found the Flaming Pearl and those who did marveled that they had not recognized it before.

In finding the Flaming Pearl (Wisdom) man learned to awaken the dragon, the life giving energy within themselves and all living things. Looking into the depths of our soul we hear the song of our true selves we pass beyond the limits of our body and transcend to the level of our elders the Guardians of the Flaming Pearl ,the Spirit of eternal change, the Spark of light from the creation of the Universe and The Hope of Tomorrow.

Lord Grul, Guardian of the North bring the blessings of the Earth
Bless us with respect, endurance, prosperity and help us to
know the purpose in this life.

Lord Sairys, Guardian of the East bring the blessings of the Air
Bless us with brilliance and promises of sunshine flood us
with optimism, joy, intelligence, renew us with the helpful airs.

Lord Fafnir, Guardian of the South bring the blessings of Fire
Bless us with the light of enthusiasm, change, passion, courage,
will power and leadership.

Lord Naelyn, Guardian of the West bring the blessings of Water
Blessings of the water of life flow over us blessings of compassion,
peacefulness, forgiveness, love, intuition, calmness, peace of mind.

In the Love and Light of your blessings may man mature and in their
maturity find the true treasure of the Flaming Pearl within them.

May you find your Flaming Pearl and your Guardian Dragon.

L'chaim .... To Life

I always loved the sound of the word" L'chaim" since I heard it in "fiddler on the roof" some words just make you feel good.
Anthony de Mello said "Life is a banquet and the tragedy is that most people are starving to death."

We live in a time of high technology, high stress events and high demands and high lack of a real appreciation and understanding of Life.


Often we hurry around and never allow ourselves to see the little things. We can become so lost in keeping up with the Jones we never appreciate what we have for what we think we need or want. We starve when in reality we are gorged.


Sadly enough sometimes Life has to literally knock us down and out before we see how Life starved we have become, before we see another chance to live.


Some will only see Life after they have experienced an illness.some may have to experience a loss of someone either through divorce, breakup or even death.

Life can be overwhelming and demanding at times we've all had moments like that but often we have also had a hint which we often over look. Followed later by a great jolt to say that we can have another chance to live, another chance to attend Life's banquet.

May your plate of Life be filled and your hunger fed.

L' chaim... To Life

A Rainbow for Mama

This image I drew for my mother sadly enough she never saw it in person. The letter which follows was my sharing with a friend. In Memory of my mother Marion Plumer Feb 1942 - July 2008

Last night I started a blog "A Place in the World" but I didn't finish it I felt something, but wasn't real sure what so I waited. I have been sitting here running visions of my mother through my head.

I remember her as a towering enormous sight I can see her walking into my mind. Many times I compared my mother's face to that of the Bergermitzer in "Santa Claus is Coming to town" not because she was an unattractive woman but because of the features.

Her eyes hard, cold and the frowning of eternal displeasure was it with dad, the boys, my sister or with me, was it with some one outside the family or just everything with her life in general.

My youth seemed spent fighting her for one reason or another, sometimes there didn't even have to be a reason. I can hear her "Cherry Kim (I always knew she was serious when she used both names) you don't know to stay to your own kind", "You never know when to hold your tongue" "You better leave your heathen ways", "you're just too damn stubborn and willful for your own good."

In some ways she was right, in some she was wrong. In 2001 when I brought mama to live with me (Yes everyone was shocked) It was in fact a selfish act on my part really as I thought if I could give her what she couldn't I could heal myself and the wounds, put to rest old ghost.

At the airport seeing her I thought how very small she seemed, so fragile in body and while the Bergermitzer frown was there the eyes where not hard and cold but filled with something much worse. They held pain, sorrow and hopelessness. the pitiful had replaced the frightening.

She held her head down and somehow it made her seem defeated and the woman I had known in my life was a stranger to me, my mother had sworn like a sailor, could nail you with a shoe as you ran for cover, make you cry and cringe when she used your full name.
This vision of my mother only made me feel protective of her and determined to care for her.

As the days passed I had began for the first time to see, to understand and even to know the woman who was my mother.

A woman with dreams as shattered as herself, with wounds perhaps even deeper then the ones she had inflicted. I wondered was it choice or chance that had made her as she had been.

It doesn't excuse her actions, but it does give an understanding of maybe why? I found it easier to give her what she couldn't. It didn't change what had been but I was able to give her some peace and some for myself too.

Now sitting here waiting to hear that final call I just want for her to have the peace and happiness, she never found here on earth in her life, I don't know that my mother ever knew her place in the world.

She was my father's wife, she was our mother but she never really knew or belonged to herself until it was too late. Then dreams turned to ashes and hope dimmed each year.

She sang like an angel. I remember her singing to me now, she had heard me once singing to Kat and told me she had sang that to me when I was little.

Tonight I remember her singing the "The Old Rugged Cross", "Soldier Soldier"(The song I sang to Kat) and my favorite "Beautiful Dreamer".

Tonight I recall a doll that cried and her removing the batteries in the middle of the night ( I was up playing) and I recall watching her drawing and designing the wedding dress I never wore because we had a fight I refused to wear it even if she had time to make it.

I don't get to say good bye to her but at least a couple years ago I got to say hello to my mother, not perfect but we had come to terms with one another, had a better understanding of each other and maybe became a bit more like mother and daughter.

No one is all bad or all good. Mama was no different.

To Teach Is To Learn

"The Bridge between" painted by me today after a night of some rather interesting dreams and thoughts.



To Teach Is To Learn

A teacher is someone that hears more then his/her own voice.
Someone who lives by what is taught and can learn as well.

If teaching of peace, patience, tolerance and awareness and humanity.

Then it would appear to be better taught without contempt for humanity.


A teacher is someone who believes they are A path, A truth. But not so self superior or arrogant enough to believe that they are The path, The truth.


A teacher can not teach others when placing limits and restricts on them, of what the teacher thinks he/she knows and what he/she refuses to know.

If the teacher is closed so may be the student.

A teacher knows the journey of Life is made with one step at a time, it flows like the river, it's strong as the stones, it burn like fire and it breaths through us like the wind. Life is about opening our minds, extending our ourselves beyond what was and what is to what Can be.

A teacher can not teach a future when he/she does not have hope and faith in a future.

"Who am I" is the starting point. Its the whispering that calls the spirit, the path that is traveled and the journey that passes through the old with respect to create something new with Passion of Life.

How well do you know yourself? Not what you think you know or what others think they know of you. What is the deepest true song of who you are?

No teacher can teach you this only you know the song planted like a seed within, only you know how to nurture its growth and transformation and only you can harvest it fruits and magick.

Ca 'ch Angerdd i mewn Buchedd.
Find Your Passion in Life.